Friday, February 4, 2011

Love Isn't All You Need

...But it is important.

I've been in a number of different relationships. Each teaching me something about myself and about what I was looking for in that ultimate relationship.

I'm a big fan of the song "Love is All You Need," but the notion is preposterous. (Ok, maybe I wouldn't go that far, but its not really true.) I loved the last guy I was with. We had fun. He made me laugh. I felt completely loved by him and I truly loved him.

BUT...it didn't work. It couldn't work. There were some fundamental basics missing. He was a smart guy, but had no work ethic and no desire to make an effort. He did the bare minimum. I grew up instilled with a strong work ethic. If you want the nice things in life, you have to work for them. And let me tell you I want the nice things! So I worked my little tushy off and Mr did the just enough to keep a job...if he felt like it. More than once, I came home from work and he told me he quit...just because. And he was never in a hurry to find another job. It drove me nuts.

But I still loved him.

We didn't have the same morals and values either. When it came down to deep conversations and serious issues, we didn't see eye to eye. Sure its good to hear different view points, but he could be so far out there on some things that I didn't see how we would ever be able to come to an understanding or a middle meeting point.

I woke up one day and realized I could never have children with this man. I couldn't depend on him to provide for a family and what ideals that I held to be important, would he then discourage to our child/ren? It was a frightening eye opening moment. We discussed it at length a number of times, but at the core of who we are, we can't change. This wasn't going to work.

So yeah, we loved each other...but its not all you need.

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