Black vs White

I saw "Black Swan" tonight.

I was drawn to this movie for a couple of reasons. One, I totally have a girl crush on Natalie Portman. I want her to be my best friend. I'm weird...I understand that. Two, after working at a ballet company for a few years, I am intrigued by the ballet and related things

So a friend warned me that it was a little odd. In fact, she became speechless when trying to explain it to me. So I knew going in not to have any real expectations. I'll just say that I agree, it was odd. But it was good. Not that I necessarily want to see it again, but worth going to see at least once.

So the movie is based around Nina, Natalie Portman's character, who tries out and eventually gets the lead part in the ballet Swan Lake. Normally danced by two characters, this time the White and Black Swan are the same. Nina is perfect for the innocent and graceful White Swan, but has trouble fully capturing the spirit of its opposite in the Black Swan. Mila Kunis plays Lily, another ballerina, new to the company, who seems to embody the Black Swan and provides competition for Nina.

Part of it deals with the fact that Nina is so perfect for the pure and innocent character, because she is that way, but has a hard time becoming the scheming, seductive Black Swan. Minus all the craziness that ensues, I realized I related to this part of the story. I've always wanted to be like Lily/Mila...she just exudes this energy where you know if you go out with her you'll come home with stories. Nina/Natalie on the other hand, would be interesting to sit and have coffee and good conversation with. But if you want a wild night out, you probably wouldn't choose Nina/Natalie. And really, Natalie would probably never been cast as a wild woman...because she just doesn't look like one...and its hard to believe she could convincingly play that type of character. Not that she isn't a good actress...but its like when Jack Black plays serious characters - he does well, its just kinda awkward from a viewers point of view.

The point of this is that I feel like I am the Nina/Natalie character (well minus the crazy part of Nina). I could portray the White Swan very convincingly, but would be harder pressed to convince anyone as the Black Swan. There are days when I wish I could be more Black Swan-ish, carefree, a little wild and to be the fun one. But I am the quiet one. The one you'll find in the corner talking with one or two people, not the one in the middle of the room with a crowd surrounding her. I'm calm and graceful, not wild and seductive. I've tried to be that other person, but it doesn't last long. As much as I want a wild side, I'm always going to be mostly white.

The Bookstore

When I walk into a bookstore, my senses are immediately heightened. A chill of excitement runs through my body as I walk into the rows and rows of books. As I glace at the first table of books I can feel my heart start to race. I can not wait to put my hands on the textured cover of the latest bestselling hardcover or to run my fingers over a sleek magazine cover. Coffee is generally the strongest scent, enticing me to stop by the cafe for one of the hot, fragrant beverages. As I wrap my fingers around the warm cup, I head back out to the rows of books and begin to browse. The magazines with their shiny and colorful covers catch my eye and I peruse by, reading the headlines that are screaming for my attention. Sometimes I'll get sucked in and pull one from the shelf to skim, checking out the bright ads and the beautiful clothes and accessories that create in me an envious passion for them. I realize I will probably never have access to the majority of items in the magazine and return it to the shelf. I walk out of Periodicals and return to the real reason I've come, to the books that are calling my name. They call me from Chick Lit and Romance. I walk by the Pet section and am drawn to the slick covers with handsome looking pups on them. Some days the Self Help books call me to check them out, and sometimes even the technical books on the latest gadget make me stop and glance. By far, the place that always calls the loudest, is Bargain Row. For one reason or another, these books have been placed here and marked down way below their value...and as a bargain hunter, I can not generally pass up this delicious section. I take my time and wonder though, reading all the titles and picking up a book here and there to flip through its interiors filled with a variety of information. It is this variety that intrigues me most. There are trivia books, game books, books on a dog's thoughts, and books about every war. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I'll come across a golden nugget, something I've had my eye on for some time. Perhaps a book on 'tape' who's author's golden voice has been cooing me to listen for the last few months, or a new journal, fresh with possibilities, or a book who's title and cover I can not turn my eyes from. My heart quickens again at the prospect of bringing this item home with me. I feel like this item could change my future. As I hold the item in my hands and turn it over, inspecting front, back and the internal contents, the rest of the store recedes and I am left alone with my new found friend. It is a rush like no other when the purchase is made and the bag with my precious new item is handed to me. I am free to take it home and bask within it and I am content...until the next time I walk through those doors.

For Your Information

Girls may be CR-A-ZY

...but...

Boys are STUPID.

Just keep that in mind.