Love

Sometimes life gives you just what you need.

A few weeks ago, I was going through a rough patch (okay maybe for a few months). Work was blah. Life was blah. Relationships were crap. I was just in one of those down times. I had to work one Saturday morning and as I sat at the desk counting down the time until I could leave, one of our special needs kids came in the office. We've been introduced a couple times but he'd never talked to me before. He came right up to me and introduced himself, so politely I introduced myself back. He then took my hand and said, "I love you very much."

I think I almost cried. It was just sweet and unexpected and it was something I needed to hear...even if it was from a random child.

Later that same day I went over to my friend's house. Her two daughters were eating a snack at the table so I went and sat with them and chatted. They told me what they had been up to and how they liked the flower in my hair. I got up at one point to get a drink and the youngest started talking and then said, "You know what, I love you."

There's a line in an old movie that I used to watch with my roommates that said something to the effect of "Little children and old men don't say it for it to be said in return" in reference to "I love you."

Its just something interesting to ponder.

What I've Learned

Since I joined the dating world again recently, there are a few things I've learned. The basic principles never change, but if you're out of the loop for a while, you see some things with fresh eyes when you get back.

Boys & Cars

Call me old fashioned, but I find something yummy about a guy who knows his way around a car. He doesn't necessarily have to be able to take apart an engine and put it back together in working order, but change the oil, fix a belt...you know the basics. But this is what I've learned...my generation of guys don't know how to do any of these things. Or if they do know how to work on cars, they have no other education and very few teeth (I'm making a very general statement there, so I apologize if you, my reader, can work on cars AND read).

What are fathers teaching their sons now a days? Isn't that how fathers and sons are supposed to bond? By working on the family car together? I know, there I go again with my old fashioned-ness Its disappointing that the majority of guys in my generation can barely find the dipstick. Even I know where the coolant goes and what it sounds like if a belt is going bad. Thanks Dad.

Photo Op

Whether we want to admit it or not, we all judge people (just a little) on their appearance. Dating sites are no different. The photo you choose for your online profile can be the difference between attracting someone of your caliber, or attracting someone who...well someone you don't want to attract.

One thing I've noticed though is the type of photos that men are posting (though I've noticed women do to on like Facebook and such...). Self portraits. Honestly, I found it a little off putting at first. Don't you have to be vain to do that? Doesn't that show that you don't have any friends to take pictures of you? Really? You need to capture yourself on film at that exact moment and no one else is around? Hm. I've seen some sites where people have like 15+ picture that they took themselves. Excessive! Right?

And then I started putting together my profile. I started looking through my collection of photos. Funny. I have lots of photos...but I'm the one taking the pictures of other people. And I'm often the only one with a camera. So I've got one with my mom...but I look fat...I've got one with my ex...but that's not appropriate for a dating site...I've got one someone snapped in which I've got a funny face. But where are the cute ones? The ones that highlight my best features and where the sun hits my hair just perfectly? Well I'm not a model, so those don't exist. But, maybe I can get close if I try a couple myself.

So I did. And got one that I actually like. And when I put it on my profile, I got a bunch of new hits! Woo.

The other photos I continuously run across have to do with cars (ironically, ones they don't know a thing about). An oldie but a goodie is the classic, "standing in front of my car." Many times the cars are not that impressive. And I really don't care what you drive (well I prefer its not a junker...but beyond that...). And generally, they just look like a big dork in front of them. The new style photo I've seen popping up combines the previous two...a self portrait in the car...what looks like is taken from the steering wheel while driving. WTF? Really? And I don't understand why it is popping up all over guys' profiles. Not just one or two...but like 50% of them! I don't get it.

---------------------

And this is what I've learned recently. I have a feeling there will be more related posts as I actually start dating. The dating world is crazy and odd and I feel it is now my duty to share it.

I Did It!

As I was skimming through my old posts, I came across the one from last September in which I let my opinion about running be known. My last statement was that I just wanted to be able to say I ran a 5K.

Well guess what!?

I ran a 4 mile race!!

(That's longer than a 5k.)

And I didn't die. And I did it in a decent time.

I'm pretty proud of myself and have been telling everyone.

Now I didn't do it without some help. It started back in April, when a friend convinced me to check out the Building Steam program. It was a running training program that was to get you trained for the Steamboat Classic, a 4 mile race. It was supposed to be for runners of all abilities. I had just gotten out of a relationship, so I figured 1. it would help me get out and meet people, 2. it would help me get out and meet guys, and 3. it would help me get into shape (since #2 was going to occur). So I went and signed up for it.

Every Wednesday evening, I would meet up with my group and run. The first night was like a time trial...we had to run one mile and then according to our time we were placed in groups. That was the first mile I'd run since high school...and I'm not even sure I ran a full mile in high school! But I wasn't all that bad. I landed in an 11:30 pace group. The group started with a three minute run, three minute walk and from that worked up to 4 miles! All while keeping our pace of 11:30. I didn't want to go every week, but I almost always made myself (only missed two weeks). I always felt good afterward. I even ran a few times on my own.

Sadly though, I did not meet any new people. No new men. But I have a new appreciation for running. On multiple occasions it made me think of the ad from "What Women Want"

Triumphant Return

Its been a long time since I've blogged. I've missed it.

As my comeback, I'm going to share a video that was shared on Facebook this afternoon by one of my 'friends.'

Jessica's "Daily Affirmation"



A reminder that there are positive things all around us if we look.

So here is my list:
I love my dog. I love my cat. I love my mom. I love my dad. I even love my brother. I like my house and my car. I like my hair and getting haircuts. I like my job. I like the stories of 4 year olds. I like this mild weather. I like my vegetable garden in my back yard. I like swimming. I like reading. I love chocolate cake. I like writing. I like designing. I can do anything good!

Please Put Your Pants On

Last night was one of those nights at work when I realize that there is nothing else like it.

We have a deaf girl who helps out on busy nights and Wednesday is definately one of those nights. It is important to note at this point that I know so very little sign language. So anyway, the girl comes into the office and gets my attention. I recognize the sign "toilet" (which is an important sign to know if you work with children) and deduce that there are two children who have gone to the bathroom and have yet to return. My job is to find them and return them. Oh, I don't know who they are. I just know they will be between 3 1/2 and 4 1/2. Thats it.

So I walk down the hallway and see a little girl and her mom coming out of the restroom. She looks about the right age, so she must be one of them. I peek my head in the restroom and see it is full so I figure the other one is in there and I will wait by the door.

At this point I look down the hallway and see the helper gesturing and realize that the two children are boys and in the boys restroom.

Damn.

I hate dealing with the boys bathroom. It always smells and it makes me uncomfortable as I am not a male.

So I walk up to the boys bathroom and do a timid little knock and ask if they are okay. Nothing. The door is cracked so I peek in and see two tiny sets of feet in one stall. Great. I stand in the hallway a moment debating what to do. I am not comfortable enough to enter the boys bathroom and demand they return to class (a teacher only asks me to retrieve a child if they've been gone a while...so apprently these boys are MIA to their teacher). I hope that they will just finish up on their own and I can then shoo them to class.

Nope. I peek in again and they are still standing in the stall. I also notice that their pants are strewn about.

GREAT. This is not in my job description (actually, this falls under "other").

So I tap again and open the door a little further and say "do you guys need any help?" To this I get a response. One of the little boys comes out of the stall and says yes. And there in front of me is a boy of his late 3s who has no pants on and a shirt just covering his parts. Oh lordy.

"Okay." I say. "How about you get your pants on." He looks at me, grabs a pair of shorts and with one hand holding them at an angle, attempts to put them on. It doesn't work. He brings them to me. "Can you help?" Ok. But at this point I realize there are no underwear in the shorts. So I ask him where they are. "I dunno." Um, are those it over there? "No." Um, did you wear underwear here today? "I dunno."

Oh geez. Fine, lets just get your pants on. Okay wash your hands and we'll get you back to class. At this point the other little boy comes out of the stall with a shirt that just barely covers things too. I ask if he's finished and he says yes.

"Please put your pants on then."

He puts on his pull ups on and comes over to me.

"And your pants please." He finally puts those on too. He then turns around and sees the urinal. "I have to go again."

"I highly doubt that." But he strips his pants off. He walks up to the urinal, to which his head just barely comes up to the bottom of the thing.

"You can't reach it."

"Yes I can." And he starts jumping!

"Ahhhh. Stop. If you must, pull the stool over."

I give up. I will just try to get the first boy to class. He is done washing and drying so we walk back to the gym door. I see his teacher and ask where the other boy's mom is. I explain I can't get him out. He's playing. She looks around, lost like and finally sees someone to whom she goes to talk to.

At this time I turn around to go check on boy 2 and see boy 1 at the water fountain. WHAT? I did my job and returned him to class. HOW did he end up in the hallway at the water fountain!?! So I talk to him and he decided to go back to class. We walk that way and run into the woman headed to the bathroom. Apparently, its his mom. So he turns around and follows her.

Ahhhh! I can not get these kids to go back to class!! The mom walks into the bathroom and tells the little boy to get his pants on and get back to class. "This is not how we act."

I look at her and timidly say, "I tried. Its not easy."

Its not the same for everyone

A while back, I was talking with my mom and some how our conversation turned to mice and mice traps. I told her I could never use the sticky pads because they are just mean and inhumane and make me feel bad for the mouse. This feeling is made worse by the fact that I had mice as pets when I was little.

At this point in the conversation, my mother looked at me confused. She had no recollection of it.

When I was younger, my mom worked at The University of Nebraska Medical Center in the research department. She worked with mice and rats on a daily basis.

*Side note: I went with her to work a couple times and during one trip she showed me how you humanely kill a mouse...you put a pen or object behind its head and pull its tail to break its neck. I was like 6. This may explain things about me...

Anyway, in one shipment of mice, there arrived a pregnant mouse. I guess they couldn't do testing on pregnant mice, so my mom brought her home. We created a cage for her and allowed her to have her babies. I remember there being 10 all together, but time could have created that number...regardless, there were many of them and my brother and I played with them just as you would a hamster. It was fun. My brother and I would sit in a straddle facing each other and play with the mice in the middle of us. We'd create obstacle courses and everything!

Eventually they grew up and my mom said we had to do something because they would soon start mating with one another.

We let them out in the forest of the park down the street. It was bitter sweet. I'm pretty sure I was over it rather quickly.

The point is, I have many distinct memories of this time. My mother has none. How odd.

Running in Circles

A lot of my friends have started running races. Like real ones. Where you actually run a rediculous amount of miles.

I'm guessing you know how I feel about that. I am not a runner. The thought makes my nose crinkle in dissatisfaction.

I don't know when or why I became so appalled to running. Its silly. Every once in a great while, I will try to convince myself that it is not that bad. That running would be good for me and would be a great stress reliever. But then I walk outside and think...naw, I'll just walk.

I'm not opposed to excercise in general. I did participate in the MS Bike Ride last summer...which was like 80 miles over two days. I like my eliptical.

Running just exhausts me. Even just watching.

But there's still something inside me that wants to be able to say..."Yeah, I just ran a 5K. No biggie."