Captured

There are some photographs that make you smile for one reason or another every time you see them. Sometimes they are candid shots that take you back to a moment or sometimes they are the posed shot where everyone looks their best, and that's how you want to always remember them. I was recently looking at some of my photos and found some group shots that I just love. I think they are mostly posed shots, but they capture something that I love. So I figured I'd share them.

This photo was taken at Anna's wedding shower. It was at a fancy golf course or something, so we all had to dress up. But we all look our best. Sara will complain because she's pregnant in the photo, but whatever. Its one of my absolute favorites of all of us. I feel like we look like the group I always wanted to be a part of...the pretty girls who have done alright.

I feel like to fully appreciate the above picture, you have to see where we started, five (maybe six) years prior:

This is one of those pictures where we may not look our best, but that's how we looked. I love these girls still today, eleven years later!

This is another one of those perfect shots. Sure its posed, but we all look our best...and that background...that was the actual sky that night. We were all just so happy.

Just one more...for now...
Senior year. This was our 'family' Christmas card. Yup, we sent out a card with all of us on it to our friends and family and we were darn proud of it. It was one crazy (and slightly hellish) year, but we leaned on each other and made it though. Thanks roomies!

I could load this up with my favorite photographs, but I'll stop here.

Dork.

It used to be an insult to be called a dork, and depending on the context, it still can be. But that being said, I've learned to embrace the dork that I am and confidently roll with it.

I was a tall, lanky, smart girl in school who played in the band and loved science and math. It was the perfect makings for a dork. I wasn't taunted or made fun of in school (at least to my face), I was comfortable in my dorkiness and wasn't really bothered by it...I hadn't embraced it yet, but I knew that I wasn't a bad person and I had plenty of friends. It wasn't until sometime in college that I embraced the fact that I was a dork, I was just a little off from 'normal' and that was okay.

It hit me the other day that in the whole dating process while I'm looking for a tall, good looking guy who's smart, confident, stable and funny, I'm much more attracted to someone when they let it show they too are just a little dorky. While in the fairy tale world, I want the perfect guy, the truth is that would make me uber self-conscious. I would be concerned that I would say the wrong thing or make a fool out of myself. The truth is, when a guy shows his dorky side, I find it endearing.

But there is a line...its not all that 'fine'....its just there...maybe a sliding scale...

Yes, I find it endearing when guys have a bit of a dork inside them, but I'm not looking for all dork. No need to be obsessed with Star Trek or Worlds of Warcraft. I'm not looking for conversations to continually focused around our solar system, the beginning of time or how awesome computers are and how much he knows about them.

But if he lets it slip that his favorite show is MythBusters because its fascinating, or that he can recall random facts that can only be used in trivia games, I find that sexy.

I'll admit it... I ♥ Dorks.

Love

Sometimes life gives you just what you need.

A few weeks ago, I was going through a rough patch (okay maybe for a few months). Work was blah. Life was blah. Relationships were crap. I was just in one of those down times. I had to work one Saturday morning and as I sat at the desk counting down the time until I could leave, one of our special needs kids came in the office. We've been introduced a couple times but he'd never talked to me before. He came right up to me and introduced himself, so politely I introduced myself back. He then took my hand and said, "I love you very much."

I think I almost cried. It was just sweet and unexpected and it was something I needed to hear...even if it was from a random child.

Later that same day I went over to my friend's house. Her two daughters were eating a snack at the table so I went and sat with them and chatted. They told me what they had been up to and how they liked the flower in my hair. I got up at one point to get a drink and the youngest started talking and then said, "You know what, I love you."

There's a line in an old movie that I used to watch with my roommates that said something to the effect of "Little children and old men don't say it for it to be said in return" in reference to "I love you."

Its just something interesting to ponder.

What I've Learned

Since I joined the dating world again recently, there are a few things I've learned. The basic principles never change, but if you're out of the loop for a while, you see some things with fresh eyes when you get back.

Boys & Cars

Call me old fashioned, but I find something yummy about a guy who knows his way around a car. He doesn't necessarily have to be able to take apart an engine and put it back together in working order, but change the oil, fix a belt...you know the basics. But this is what I've learned...my generation of guys don't know how to do any of these things. Or if they do know how to work on cars, they have no other education and very few teeth (I'm making a very general statement there, so I apologize if you, my reader, can work on cars AND read).

What are fathers teaching their sons now a days? Isn't that how fathers and sons are supposed to bond? By working on the family car together? I know, there I go again with my old fashioned-ness Its disappointing that the majority of guys in my generation can barely find the dipstick. Even I know where the coolant goes and what it sounds like if a belt is going bad. Thanks Dad.

Photo Op

Whether we want to admit it or not, we all judge people (just a little) on their appearance. Dating sites are no different. The photo you choose for your online profile can be the difference between attracting someone of your caliber, or attracting someone who...well someone you don't want to attract.

One thing I've noticed though is the type of photos that men are posting (though I've noticed women do to on like Facebook and such...). Self portraits. Honestly, I found it a little off putting at first. Don't you have to be vain to do that? Doesn't that show that you don't have any friends to take pictures of you? Really? You need to capture yourself on film at that exact moment and no one else is around? Hm. I've seen some sites where people have like 15+ picture that they took themselves. Excessive! Right?

And then I started putting together my profile. I started looking through my collection of photos. Funny. I have lots of photos...but I'm the one taking the pictures of other people. And I'm often the only one with a camera. So I've got one with my mom...but I look fat...I've got one with my ex...but that's not appropriate for a dating site...I've got one someone snapped in which I've got a funny face. But where are the cute ones? The ones that highlight my best features and where the sun hits my hair just perfectly? Well I'm not a model, so those don't exist. But, maybe I can get close if I try a couple myself.

So I did. And got one that I actually like. And when I put it on my profile, I got a bunch of new hits! Woo.

The other photos I continuously run across have to do with cars (ironically, ones they don't know a thing about). An oldie but a goodie is the classic, "standing in front of my car." Many times the cars are not that impressive. And I really don't care what you drive (well I prefer its not a junker...but beyond that...). And generally, they just look like a big dork in front of them. The new style photo I've seen popping up combines the previous two...a self portrait in the car...what looks like is taken from the steering wheel while driving. WTF? Really? And I don't understand why it is popping up all over guys' profiles. Not just one or two...but like 50% of them! I don't get it.

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And this is what I've learned recently. I have a feeling there will be more related posts as I actually start dating. The dating world is crazy and odd and I feel it is now my duty to share it.

I Did It!

As I was skimming through my old posts, I came across the one from last September in which I let my opinion about running be known. My last statement was that I just wanted to be able to say I ran a 5K.

Well guess what!?

I ran a 4 mile race!!

(That's longer than a 5k.)

And I didn't die. And I did it in a decent time.

I'm pretty proud of myself and have been telling everyone.

Now I didn't do it without some help. It started back in April, when a friend convinced me to check out the Building Steam program. It was a running training program that was to get you trained for the Steamboat Classic, a 4 mile race. It was supposed to be for runners of all abilities. I had just gotten out of a relationship, so I figured 1. it would help me get out and meet people, 2. it would help me get out and meet guys, and 3. it would help me get into shape (since #2 was going to occur). So I went and signed up for it.

Every Wednesday evening, I would meet up with my group and run. The first night was like a time trial...we had to run one mile and then according to our time we were placed in groups. That was the first mile I'd run since high school...and I'm not even sure I ran a full mile in high school! But I wasn't all that bad. I landed in an 11:30 pace group. The group started with a three minute run, three minute walk and from that worked up to 4 miles! All while keeping our pace of 11:30. I didn't want to go every week, but I almost always made myself (only missed two weeks). I always felt good afterward. I even ran a few times on my own.

Sadly though, I did not meet any new people. No new men. But I have a new appreciation for running. On multiple occasions it made me think of the ad from "What Women Want"

Triumphant Return

Its been a long time since I've blogged. I've missed it.

As my comeback, I'm going to share a video that was shared on Facebook this afternoon by one of my 'friends.'

Jessica's "Daily Affirmation"



A reminder that there are positive things all around us if we look.

So here is my list:
I love my dog. I love my cat. I love my mom. I love my dad. I even love my brother. I like my house and my car. I like my hair and getting haircuts. I like my job. I like the stories of 4 year olds. I like this mild weather. I like my vegetable garden in my back yard. I like swimming. I like reading. I love chocolate cake. I like writing. I like designing. I can do anything good!

Please Put Your Pants On

Last night was one of those nights at work when I realize that there is nothing else like it.

We have a deaf girl who helps out on busy nights and Wednesday is definately one of those nights. It is important to note at this point that I know so very little sign language. So anyway, the girl comes into the office and gets my attention. I recognize the sign "toilet" (which is an important sign to know if you work with children) and deduce that there are two children who have gone to the bathroom and have yet to return. My job is to find them and return them. Oh, I don't know who they are. I just know they will be between 3 1/2 and 4 1/2. Thats it.

So I walk down the hallway and see a little girl and her mom coming out of the restroom. She looks about the right age, so she must be one of them. I peek my head in the restroom and see it is full so I figure the other one is in there and I will wait by the door.

At this point I look down the hallway and see the helper gesturing and realize that the two children are boys and in the boys restroom.

Damn.

I hate dealing with the boys bathroom. It always smells and it makes me uncomfortable as I am not a male.

So I walk up to the boys bathroom and do a timid little knock and ask if they are okay. Nothing. The door is cracked so I peek in and see two tiny sets of feet in one stall. Great. I stand in the hallway a moment debating what to do. I am not comfortable enough to enter the boys bathroom and demand they return to class (a teacher only asks me to retrieve a child if they've been gone a while...so apprently these boys are MIA to their teacher). I hope that they will just finish up on their own and I can then shoo them to class.

Nope. I peek in again and they are still standing in the stall. I also notice that their pants are strewn about.

GREAT. This is not in my job description (actually, this falls under "other").

So I tap again and open the door a little further and say "do you guys need any help?" To this I get a response. One of the little boys comes out of the stall and says yes. And there in front of me is a boy of his late 3s who has no pants on and a shirt just covering his parts. Oh lordy.

"Okay." I say. "How about you get your pants on." He looks at me, grabs a pair of shorts and with one hand holding them at an angle, attempts to put them on. It doesn't work. He brings them to me. "Can you help?" Ok. But at this point I realize there are no underwear in the shorts. So I ask him where they are. "I dunno." Um, are those it over there? "No." Um, did you wear underwear here today? "I dunno."

Oh geez. Fine, lets just get your pants on. Okay wash your hands and we'll get you back to class. At this point the other little boy comes out of the stall with a shirt that just barely covers things too. I ask if he's finished and he says yes.

"Please put your pants on then."

He puts on his pull ups on and comes over to me.

"And your pants please." He finally puts those on too. He then turns around and sees the urinal. "I have to go again."

"I highly doubt that." But he strips his pants off. He walks up to the urinal, to which his head just barely comes up to the bottom of the thing.

"You can't reach it."

"Yes I can." And he starts jumping!

"Ahhhh. Stop. If you must, pull the stool over."

I give up. I will just try to get the first boy to class. He is done washing and drying so we walk back to the gym door. I see his teacher and ask where the other boy's mom is. I explain I can't get him out. He's playing. She looks around, lost like and finally sees someone to whom she goes to talk to.

At this time I turn around to go check on boy 2 and see boy 1 at the water fountain. WHAT? I did my job and returned him to class. HOW did he end up in the hallway at the water fountain!?! So I talk to him and he decided to go back to class. We walk that way and run into the woman headed to the bathroom. Apparently, its his mom. So he turns around and follows her.

Ahhhh! I can not get these kids to go back to class!! The mom walks into the bathroom and tells the little boy to get his pants on and get back to class. "This is not how we act."

I look at her and timidly say, "I tried. Its not easy."